The Beauty Pageant
Here, I'll mention my perplexing experience as a result of such contemplation & together, we'll question the morality & measure the ethical density of a notion which is considered to one of the most virtuous of traits.
The Beauty Pageant
"Understand the other's perspective" articulated the author of the book I just read. How noble. How moral. How Naive? I contemplate on this notion as I put that book back on the shelf. Suddenly my attention turned to my mother watching a beauty pageant on her phone in fascination.
"Why are they being rewarded?", she asked with a great degree of curiosity. "It's a competition where women compete & the criteria to win is aspired physical attributes", I exclaimed. Well I haven't been much of a fan of such contests that reinforce stereotypical criterions for femininity. Such shows make the regular audiences feel inadequate, they undergo inferiority complexes, in some cases to such a degree that they unknowingly stultify their growth in regards to being an Individual with much more than just materialistic & physical prowess.
This further incubates a confrontational & belligerent ego complex which impedes the ability of tolerance to others’ attributes, views, intellect or even their presence in the room! How destructive is that! In order to establish a utopian culture where we seek tranquility & harmony among ourselves, this isn't quite a healthy habit, is it? Maybe the notion mentioned above would prove to be a helping hand? Or would it?
A Penny for Thought
As I go deep into this thought, I make the humble effort to put myself in the shoes of a participant & correlate the same notion to such a case. It is at that moment I realize, "Well, you know what? I actually like this. I feel myself filled with pride. And why shouldn't I be? The audience gave a thunderous applause, people across the Globe had their eyes on me. After all the hardships I went through (in some cases at least), all the struggles I had to confront head on, all those times when I thought to give in to the temptation of capitulation, I still walked on the path with my head high like the mighty Cleopatra. My name was celebrated when it hit ears of all as a victorious chant in a Roman colosseum, while my loved ones watched me from the seats with tears of joy & pride in their eyes. I deserve this, don't I?"
Not so destructive now is it? I bet it doesn't retain a bad picture now.
And let's be honest & blunt, if someone has got the "Curves", the "Cherries" or the "Peach", why shouldn't they flaunt it? Be a little ostentatious about it? It's well within their rights & that's fair.
But now let's try to exercise this right in front of an audience of teenage or young adult females suffering from a chronic disease, let's say a Liver disease, or Diabetes, or Hypertension, or Hyperthyroidism or let's blame it on the Genes, which would lead to obesity, in some cases to such extremity that it would open the flood gates to other chronic illnesses, maybe even lack of some movement. So analyze the situation where the person is suffering from a life threatening illness, if left unmonitored, while she holds herself responsible for the condition she is stuck in & while also holding her responsible for a condition she aspires to be in, but just can't. Can you imagine how dark & tumulted that state of mind is? I certainly don't possess the level of comprehension in order to properly acknowledge the problem, it's condition & the mentality of such a person, let alone understand & solve them all.
Now one might argue, "Well this disease situation is hypothetical." Well, fair enough. So let's remove this variable & analyze the situation again. Now all the audience members are of all genders of all ages. Still, if the effect, as compared to the previous case, couldn't be greater, it is also no less than to be called insignificant. While most of the seniors & middle aged adults won't pay any penny to such gaudiness, most people in the other groups, certainly will be on the other side of the spectrum. While all women feel overwhelmed with the feeling of inferiority, disappointment or even resentment with themselves, all men on the other hand, will envision a new version of beauty based solely on physical characteristics rather than the most virtuous of values of Trust, Security, Candor, Loyalty & Understanding. This is congruent with the effects of Porn. Beauty no longer lies in the eyes of the beholder but inside the screen of your device.
Actions, not Rhetoric
With all that said, the question now is of, what action must be taken? Or at least which course of action is more appropriate? Mere "understanding of perspectives" will not get us anywhere, there must be an ACTION! Well, we heard both sides. Both are true in their claim. Both are truer in their detrimental nature. So should beauty pageants be banned? Well, who or what gives you the right to curtail the rights of the participants to compete directly or indirectly? Fair enough. So, should the people make peace with it? Why should they? Does their BEING hold no value? Are their rights exhaustible at the expense of the few? Such shows do more harm than good, so why shouldn't they be banned? FAIR ENOUGH.
Now, when both sides are true then what must be the judgement? Here, the Panglossian may opine that as long as that stage conveys a "positive & inspiring message" to the viewers, it's all okay. Well, I hate to break it to you but that isn't how it works. Instead this would prove to be counter-productive, since it will provide the viewers a false hope, a pseudo sense of optimism, that no matter what happens, everything's fine, be happy, this will induce complacency in the minds of people who desire more, who want to go places.
As for being happy, HAPPINESS MUST NOT BE THE PURPOSE OF LIFE, at least it's sole purpose. Now hold that thought for the subsequent section.
Puzzling Perspectives
In order to understand the sheer importance of moral obligations & justice, we must defenestrate all moral & ethical codes we've come across. To establish order, we must explore chaos. To establish a sophisticated system of principles that facilitate harmony & cooperation, we must set out to explore an uncharted territory where fight, force & fear are prevalent. To draw a line that monitors our sanity, we must take a walk towards insanity. Otherwise, all the ideas of morality, ethicality, fairness, judgement, freedom, liberties, duties & the like conceived to this day, hold no value. They are but mere patronizing & a feel-good collection of jargons which hold no meaning. And that which has no meaning, has no value. And to believe in something that has no value, is to live a lie.
With this idea, bursting like fireworks in my mind, I delve deeper, pushing all ethics aside. Let me ask you,
- What exactly is Insanity?
- A deranged mental state?
- A disorder?
- A collective of disorders?
- A lack of ability to assess things rationally?
I'll tell you my version of it. I ponder, if we should try to understand the perspective of the other, to respect their truths, wouldn't that be tantamount to their acceptance as well? Think about it, the term 'Respect' itself, incurs a sense of superiority or admiration or agreement or even acquiescence. And if that is so. then isn't every crime ever committed, every wrongdoing that one has done to another, every critical & invective judgement passed, every brickbat ever laid onto you by your bullies, every act of a cheating partner, every betrayal done onto you, every freedom ever choked, every liberty ever snatched, every peace ever disrupted, every pageant that set new standards of hollow & narrowed perception of beauty ever which is detrimental to mental state of any individual irrespective of gender, every evil act in all of human history is somewhere justifiable according to this notion?
Nihilism & why it's shit
Do we hold any importance?
Retracing back to happiness not being the sole objective of life (which will be discussed ahead), it certainly raises the question, if not happiness, then what? If there is no purpose, why do we exist? Do we even hold some value as we exist through life? Being mindful of The Darwinian theory of evolution, it also becomes clear that Man is an animal who just evolved over millennia. That's it. Otherwise, from Nature's point of view, we are one of many. A speck of dust. Out of all the creatures on God's green Earth, we are just one of them. Insignificant to mother nature. Holding little or no importance.
The mere thought scares the most of us & it scared me too. To the point where I started questioning my own existence. And any other person with a sound mind would've too.
Maybe it's because the inherent need to feel important which is inhibited in our minds which gradually aids to form & polish our relationships, which further galvanizes us to live a more cherished life. An example would be those people who turn into convicted serial killers or psychopaths, one of the reasons being a lack of importance pertaining to their messy childhood or lack of healthy relationships in majority of the cases.
But to mother nature, we aren't the center of attention as we believe. Adding salt to wounds, since we are evolved, our brains much bigger & better, it befalls on our shoulders to maintain order in this chaotic world whenever needed.
So if we hold no importance, if happiness isn't the purpose of life, then what is? Is our purpose to comply with our duties to establish order? Then why those who commit suicide are looked down upon if they did what would've happened to us anyway? A life full of duties & no respite?
Such questions incubate & back the perennial & the ever misinterpreted idea of nihilism which is that, "Life is suffering". Nihilists often look down upon anything that's positive. I personally don't recommend the company of such people, so pessimistic, devoid of life, bereft of any hope. To me they are similar to parasites, leeches stuck to you, consuming your vital nutrients away while you struggle. Most criminals justify their acts with this or any idea similar to this ideology. They think of themselves as public benefactors. They believe that the crimes they commit liberate the victims out of this prison of life. Al Capone for instance thought of himself as one, a self-styled misnomer to his reputation. Evidently, such an ideology is just a step closer to insanity & the individual must refrain at the first sight of it. (Ideally, but for now, I welcomed it.)
My Encounter
As I pander even deeper, I find myself explicating, justifying any & every rape, murder, scam, bullying, harassment, adultery, act of war, horrendous atrocity, torture, forced eviction, oppression, destructive criticism, exploitation, contempt of law, obstruction to justice. By this moment, I am a man of the standpoint, that well, such acts may be criminal but not IMMORAL. Yeah, I declared these heinous crimes, MORAL!
The revelation that occurred after combining this idea with the Nihilistic approach to life, I find myself in, what I would like to call an ambiguous state but certainly a mind shrouded with darkness, destruction, & justification to such destruction, all the symptoms of a psychopathic criminal.
This new standpoint hit me so hard that I took a hiatus from social life, I suddenly had a belligerent & depressed demeanor, I suddenly found myself with no aspirations, full of self-loathe, envy, resentment, perennial sadness & aggression. With realizing that there's no meaning to life, I justify suicidal tendencies, something that I protest against boldly & unequivocally. At this point, I was INSANE!
Fortunately, I was still a bit aware & had some grasp on my sanity. This is the point of time where I found the answer to both of these mind-boggling concepts-
1.) Why isn't happiness the sole purpose of life?
2.) Should perspectives be acknowledged to a degree of absolution?
Q.) Why isn't happiness the sole purpose of life?
Happiness alone isn't the purpose of life. Happiness along with Responsibilities is. The former is your Right, the latter, well, it's your RESPONSIBILITY. Both complement each other. Just being happy implies that all the world is responsible to you, accountable to you, for your own happiness through its actions, ideas & services. It's quite a narcissistic approach to life, where you are head deep in the waters of arrogance & ignorance, while not holding up to your end of the bargain.
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| The Balance between Happiness & Responsibility is necessary for an ideal pursuit of life. |
All the battles ever fought, all the lives ever lost, all the destruction ever inflicted rose from the desire to be happy inhibited deep within the psyche of one people which made them blind to their moral obligations & to the deprivation of rights & resources, to the cumulative copious & diverse harm suffered by other people. Imagine if totalitarian tyrants who declared themselves (self-elected) torchbearers of their people, kept themselves in check. If only they tried to put themselves in the shoes of the oppressed?
Another notion that further amplifies happiness as the sole purpose of life is the ever misinterpreted idea that "You shouldn't care how people treat you or if they judge you. Because their opinions are bullshit. So just don't talk to them if you don't like them." And quite honestly, I partly agree. That yes, judging & rebuking another on the grounds of their physical attributes, intelligence, demeanor, and the like, sticks to the craw. At the same time, it is also true that this idea, if misconceived, is as destructive as criticism with a deliberate intent to wound. Yes, you shouldn't care when it comes to the opinion of others....as long as YOU, ARE NOT A JERK!
Simply accepting the worst bits of yourself & making peace with it is quite a condescending & pernicious thought.
If you judge someone who's obese, why shouldn't they judge you for being emaciated?
If you chastise someone on the basis of his/her creed, why shouldn't they chastise you on the basis of your color?
If you spit venom behind someone regarding lack of a skill or capacity to acquire such a skill, why shouldn't they do the same to you when you project your own insecurities & unaccomplished desires through your hypercritic & self-righteous attitude?
If you joke about someone's introverted personality, why shouldn't they joke about your annoyingly loquacious character?
WHY SHOULD YOUR HAPPINESS BE PARAMOUNT TO SOMEONE ELSE'S?
Q.) Should perspectives be acknowledged to a degree of absolution?
The point is to not judge someone by their physicality, belongingness to social constructs, personality, lack of an ability, & such. But to judge them by the moral consequences of their actions & their after effects that will affect the parties involved. The counter-argument could be, "TRY TO UNDERSTAND FROM HIS/HER/THEIR PERSPECTIVE". That's fair. But to what degree & expense? AT WHAT COST? Where you justify Nazi's ambition of Lebensraum? Or murders committed by serial killers? Or rapes by degenerate monsters who lack control over their senses? Or the culture of nepotism in workplaces? Because at the bottom of all perspectives, even behind wrongdoings, there is a standpoint, when understood, might invoke in you a feeling of pity, benevolence, mercy or even pardon!
This is where a line must be drawn. HERE AND NO FURTHER! The right of every being, to express his/her viewpoint (NOT THE VIEWPOINT ITSELF) must be acknowledged, along with the moral implication that will define a precedent for the future & obligation on the part of the sides involved.
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| Transform yourself before seeking to transform The World. |
That is why, to say, "I don't care about the opinions of others" must be introspected scrupulously. You have to get rid of your worst parts in order to become a better individual. You have to embrace changes if you have employed an attitude which further galvanizes you to take such actions, which are detrimental to you & to those around you. If you are a lazy procrastinator, a self serving narcissist, a drunkard drowned in alcoholism, a drug addict stuck at the bottom of the well of delusion, an individual who asserts his/her false sense of dominance by abusing others, a cheating partner in a relationship with lies & deceit of adultery, an insensitive warmonger blocked to criticism & surrounded by claques, a spoilt brat who would rather thrive in the riches of his family than to take ownership of his/her own life, an individual who is callous to the experiences, feelings & thoughts of others but wails when he/she is on the other side of the table, THEN YOU MUST CARE ABOUT THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS!
You must not make peace with the worst part of yourselves. To justify your actions & tantrums by perceiving ideas to comfort oneself, to cry injustice when you yourself are no better, screams ignorance. Only be oblivious to judgement & criticism when they are about you as an individual with different but unique characteristics.
Justice
Now, back to the judgement of our very first problem. What shall be the judgement to our beauty pageant quagmire? Or more importantly, who shall be the JUDGE? To the former question, justice to one would be injustice to another. To the latter, someone who shall be unbiased to the core. Well, that's not possible. We humans always respond to emotions rather than straight logic. We always form biases consciously or subconsciously. That is as true in our interpersonal relationships as in judging for threat from strangers.
People judge people, even if they are reluctant to admit so, they judge by your physicality, how you walk, how you talk, how you behave, how well groomed you are, in order to assess for threat & the level of openness they need to maintain in order to secure themselves. Although the kind of threat is nowhere near similar to what was way back hundreds of thousands of years ago. After you assess that backbencher on your first day of class, you form a subconscious judgement whether such a person is talkative & loud or thoughtful & silent, or whether you should approach now, later or not at all. You would approach someone who has a more open body than to approach someone with arms crossed. Though he might have crossed arms because he is nervous, you have made your judgement nonetheless.
To be honest, somewhere deep in their psyche, people want to be judged too, as long as it is that kind of judgement that they want to resonate with. So yeah, we do judge people which further induces bias. To judge for threats is a very primal example, as compared to the more complex ones. Total unbias is a myth.
Who is the Judge?
Then what is the right course of action to deliver justice? That's where righteousness, law & order enter. The answer is to compare the repercussions of each action motivated by their respective viewpoints. To assess which case will provide a more ethical & moral conclusion. The word of law must be supreme when punishing a murderer comparatively to the desire of revenge festering in the heart of a hateful son whose father was murdered. Why? Because while the perspective of that son is natural & understandable, righteousness calls for a noble example to be set. An example that will vividly distinguish revenge from justice. An example that will not let society degrade into anarchy.
What is Life?
Life is Suffering & Satisfaction. An endless cycle of turmoil & peace. The best example to understand this would be the Chinese philosophy, Yin Yang. The white represents control, the black represents conflict. The black within white represents conflict within control. The black represents control within conflict. Both, complementing each other, in an interconnected & symbiotic relationship.
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| Life is a test of valor & courage. Are YOU brave enough to pick yourself up & head out into the unknown? |
Conflict eventually leads to Control which gives rise to other multi-dimensional conflicts, that assert control again & so on. The suffering you encounter when you don't have a companion gets diminished by the satisfaction when you find your ONE, which gives birth to a new kind of suffering, one that has envy, fear & insecurity at its core. The suffering you encounter while making a name for yourself is minimized by the satisfaction you get when you land that dream job or a huge client, which gives birth to a suffering where you have a stolid boss or when you stumble while balancing work & your life.
Life is an uncharted territory that demands to be mapped & explored. What's explored is Control, Order, System, because you know the thing inside out since you were the one to chart it. It is that environment that comforts you. What's uncharted is Conflict, Chaos, Ambiguity, because you don't know a thing about what's going to happen. You are ready on your feet, to look out for dangers that are imminent, which invokes Fear, Panic, Helplessness, Hopelessness & SUFFERING.
Conflicts will never end in any of our individual & miserable lives. Life is suffering, it is THE UNEXPLORED, but it has a purpose! That purpose is the responsibility to not let it be constricted & contained to suffering & misery. The responsibility to add something valuable & moral to society. Which also implies the responsibility to take care of yourself, your happiness. And happiness certainly won't come by paying no heed to your shortcomings that you can overcome. When you take charge of yourself & your actions, you take charge of your society & only then will happiness, prosperity & satisfaction knock on your door.
The Nihilistic approach that states "Life is Suffering" can be understood in a different perspective, one which is far more benefitting & MORAL! Yes, so what if Life IS suffering? Without THIS suffering, Life is meaningless, for without it there is no invention, no discovery, no research, no growth. Life being a suffering, is meaningless, for with suffering alone, man gives into the dark temptations of crime, becomes bereft of any passion & imagination, stunts his growth himself. Life has a PURPOSE! Life is both, an obligation & the return of that complied obligation. And it must be perceived in this way in order to live a contented & gratified life contrary to a delusional one. Embrace The Fire of Suffering to ignite in yourself passion, desire & vigor.
Conclusion
As you have witnessed, how a Beauty Pageant led me to introspect from an idea of acknowledging the other's viewpoint to finding out the meaning of life itself!
Here, I'll conclude by highlighting the ideas discussed above, itemized in bullet points:-
- From chaos, we must establish order.
- Mutual respect & understanding to each other's perspectives & conceptions is imperative as long as it does not hinder with the benefit of many or the more noble, moral or greater cause.
- Suffering & Satisfaction complement each other. Embrace both, take responsibility for your life.
- Avoid pessimistic people & ideas, they falter with your potential.
- When you take responsibility for your life, you also take responsibility for society. That's when you become valuable & indispensable.
- As for the Beauty Pageant, if that doesn't resonate with you, then do not watch it. In regard to flaunting to an extent of gaudiness, you must stop. For your right to happiness isn't paramount to someone else's.
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| Yin Yang. The Good within Evil. The Evil within Good. A symbiotic match of Suffering & Satisfaction. |
To ponder, overthink & pull yourself down in the dark well of self-criticism over "THAT height", "THAT body", "THAT jaw", "THAT much popularity", "THAT beauty or handsomeness", "THAT which could've been mine if only I wasn't born like this" is as asinine as it can get. And to criticize others on the same grounds, even more so!
Being Alive is as much a Responsibility, as it is a Right.
There can be no Justice as long as cognizance of viewpoints is absolute without consideration of moral obligations & consequences on each other's part.
A word to The Reader...
Some might have found this read contemplative while some, a blatherskite's rant. I do not advocate myself as an erudite scholar, for I am a mere individual whose perceptions & notions have been conditioned by the knowledge I gained. I still have much to learn & yet it would be incomplete as compared to the mountainous plethora of all knowledge.
You might've found yourself wandered off, for that I verily apologize. But if you, the reader, do retain or conform with any of my perspectives to even the smallest of degree, I would feel that my humble dramatization effort of a my not-so-popular perspective has achieved its glory-;)
I've attempted to put my ideas to paper to the best of my caliber. I do not wish to put myself at the top of a condescending plinth for I'm as human as any other. Condemn or commend, I welcome both.
Thank you for your precious time & effort!
-Bhavesh Arora
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